Aupair (however u spell it..)

D

dark_chocolate

New member
Being an aupair sounds good: live at the house, look after kid, get the money, use it as a base and travel from there. However, I have no idea about all this. What do you think/know? :rolleyes:
 
I seriously looked into doing this about a year+ ago and decided against it. For every good story/experience I heard, I heard 3 bad ones. And families are really wary of hiring someone who is mostly doing it to travel and even though you probably wouldn't tell them that I think it shows and when you are wanting to spend all your spare time away from them it definitely will.

The other problem is most people want you for a year or more and maybe you have that kind of time to be away but I definitely didn't and it was nearly impossible to find someone for just a few months.

That being said, I'm sure that it could be a great experience and if it's something you really want to do, go for it! :thumbup:
 
I was an aupair once...and once was definately enough. Like U2Fan said, there are probably good stories out there, mine just happens to be a bad one. The family I was working for thought that I was their working slave. All the family laundry, ironing, kid watching (even when parents were home) cooking, cleaning...you name it, they wanted me to do it. And they always found ways to get around paying me..."You slept in on this day, so we are gonna dock your pay" or "We have gone through too much hand soap since you have been here, so we had to buy more"
Then I was sick one time with this awful virus, I couldn't eat, sleep, walk or even talk for like 4 days! I phoned my mom to cry about it (I know, baby) and Mom got on the phone with the host mother and said to take me to the hostpital. The woman just laughed and said "Oh it's just a virus, she is being a baby!)

Anyway not to say that there aren't great families out there that need an aupair. I'm sure when I have a family I will get one to help me out. Just meet with the people and have a set idea of how much you want to work, get paid, time off etc. And make sure the family knows and agrees to it too.

By the way, I also worked as a nanny for four years and it was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. So it really can go both ways.

Good luck

:rolleyes:
 
I worked as an au pair in the netherlands last summer and my experience was mostly negative. I was in a small town so I would recommend going to a bigger city so you wont be bored out of your mind. My family had serious issues that I was put in the middle of, not much I could do about that. Make sure you can email the familys former au pairs to get some outside perspective but keep in mind that they may not wanna talk smack about the family for fear that it gets back to them.... Also you really dont make that much money, probably enough to travel some on the weekends, but hard to save much, expect to make around 75-100 euros a week. I know a few other au pairs and one had serious trouble with her family, like they wouldnt pay her for some reason, and so there she was, a girl from australia stuck in amsterdam with no money, basically at their mercy... I eventually left my family early and had to pay them back for some health insurance they had gotten for me. I was also working illegally as we didnt end up signing a contract as they told me it was very expensive, and when I tried to leave europe after 6 months an immigration officer told me that I had over stayed my visa although the family assured me that my visa renewed every time I crossed a border.... NOT TRUE (americans get 3 months on a tourist visa) So you can see it went on and on... The family kept pushing more responsibilty on me, taking care of the dog, working weekends, and then wondering why I wasnt going out much in this boring small town while I was utterly exhausted from dealing with their emotionally unbalanced son and hyperactive puppy... AAHHHHHH!
damn Im glad I got outta there..... If anyone chooses to be an au pair consider the problems I had and weigh the options of going with an agency, which you have to front a fee for, or going through a website like eaupair.com, which is free for au pairs. I went through a website and had nobody to complain to as I put myself in that position.... So in being an au pair youre really taking a chance but its one of very few ways that an american can work legally in europe....
 
I must say the book Nanny Diaries is a must read for anyone considering this. :) Yes this brought back a lot for me (done child care since I was 12!).

Anyhow, barring everything bad, considere this: you get a visa, you get a (usually) well paying job and place to stay, you get introduced to more opporunities... etc.

My friend (male) went to Germany a few years back to au pair. His first gig was pretty good (no big complaints) then he somehow landed a job working for an ex Italian model (who's working on starting a clothing line) in Berlin. She had a seven bedroom flat (got his own room, plus nice salary). He (an apsiring flim-maker) got to meet Steven Spielberg and Robert De Niro at a party of hers in the Hamptons.

He ended up leaving that job (not sure why.... ) and is now a tour guide in Berlin doing pub crawls.

So, don't close any doors, but also make sure it's something you really want and can tolerate!
 
Of course, just like any job in the world you are going to run the chance of having a good experience or a bad experience.

Like I said, when I was a nanny I worked for a great family and still am in touch with them and visit whenever I get the chance.

Anyone who is planning on becoming an aupair, just realize that you may be putting yourself with a truly wonderful family or a crazy dysfunctional family. And just be prepared to have a back up plan if you end up with Mr. and Mrs. Crazy.

And yes, the Nanny Diaries is an excellent read. I actually gave it to my employer to read and she would always let me know what a great boss she was!
 
yup...another bad story to add to the au pair topic..... i went to rome last fall to au pair for a family with 2 small children....they seemed very laid back..the dad spoke decent english....figured it was a good way to get to see rome (a dream of mine) and they also explained that they had a house in tuscany and a beach house about an hour outside of rome.... (so automatically i thought that they were semi well of if they could afford 3 places in italy)....
so being optomistic...i jumped on a plane and headed out there...
sucha bad idea..... first of all...i was naive and didnt discuss any of the conditions i should have talked about..i was just so excited about living in italy that i didnt think much about it....
so when i got there....i found out that the apartment they had that was supposedly "in rome" was 10 miles outside of the center...right next to a military base with nothing around it for miles except shitty houses and highways.... (no way for me to get into the center except switching 3 buses)...they had a 2 yr old (who was adorable when i met her) and a new born (the reason the mom needed help)...
the apartment was sooo small...the family had wierd little quirks about them...they all napped for 2 hours a day (which was considered my time off...but where was i supposed to go?? i was in the middle of no where! so i would lay in my room and cry..it was pathetic)...the mom would go through all of my things when i wasnt in my room and rearrange them and put them in boxes and then in bigger boxes and bags..and she was definetly obsessive compulsive about storage...
the little girl didnt speak a word of english and she would slap me (the dad would laugh when she slapped him so she thought it was ok..but it hurt!! and i dont really appreciate being slapped 1000 times a day)...she would scream at the top of her lungs for attention for 5 minutes at a time...and she needed to be spoon fed all of her food (she was almost 3 years old!!! it was rediculous)....
the baby was sooo sweet and good....but the mom would do the wierdest things with him... (example: she would weigh him before during and after breast feeding him to see how much he gained and then she would document it all..wierdo)
and the so called "house in tuscany" was the dads mothers house and they never went out there..even though they talked about it as it was 1 of there 3 places....and the house at sea was basically the equal to a trailer on some random empty beach...
they said they would pay me 150 euro a week...but would only pay me once a month..and if i prefered to get it weekly i would only recieve 100 euro....and i only had sundays off....so i couldnt travel... i was trapped...and i had expected to stay long enough to save up some to travel...so i had no money or other plans...
it was the worst situation of my life....
i think they saw how depressed i was and how miserable i was in there shitty apartment in the middle of no where that after a week of being there (and almost perfecting my plot to sneak away and find my way to a hostel in rome to go from there) the grandmother unexpectedly "got sick" and had to come stay so i had to leave for a week and they paid for me to stay in a hostel...
after a week they emailed to say when i should take a cab back to there place...
but i never replied..never contacted them again..and i got the hell out of that situation...bad way to do it i know..but i have never been that depressed in my life......i ended up staying in a hostel and meeting cool people and travelling around europe for 3 more months on the 3000 i had saved from a summer job in my bank account and then came home just in time for christmas....
my week of hell in rome was the reason i was able to have the experience of my life and see how independent i really am and see how amazing this world really is...
so i regret it..but at the same time i dont....
just a word from experience....
being an aupair is the same thing as saying you are a slave...they expect so much and give so little...i would never recommend being an au pair...may seem good at the time (like it did to me) but its a big slap in the face when u get urself stuck in a bad position like i was...ok im done rambling....the story needed to be told... learn from it!! :thumbdown:
 
thanx for the advice!
I've decided I want to kiteboard everyday now and then get sponsorship for travelling when i finish school... (nicer way to do it :thumbup: :thumbup: )

I am never going try aupairing now!
 
Well, I'm heading off to be a nanny (au pair without the fancy title) in England next month.

Does anyone have any success stories?

I took a lot of the advice I've heard here and elsewhere though. I'll be in a big city, have a friend living in the same neighbourhood, and she says it's not a dive. I've spoken with their previous au pair (who left because of homesickness), and I've made sure I know what she expects of me and what I expect of her. Also, my friend said I could come crash with her if I need an escape in case the family ends up being insane.

What else should I look out for before I take off?
 
Good luck with your new job! Being a nanny is not an easy job because you are working/living within such close quarters of your bosses. I used to compare it to an office job, but actually LIVING in your office and living with your boss.

I was a nanny for four years and it was a great job. It was not without its trying times though. But of course, that is just like any job.

Here are a few tips that I learned along the way.

~KNOW what is expected OF you by the parents. This includes your working hours, any possible cleaning/cooking duties *keep in mind that you are there to be a nanny and look after their children, not be a housekeeper* Some people think that when they hire a nanny they also get a live in maid for the same price.

~Your pay-if you work extra hours, above and beyond your normal work week, you are entitled to get paid for it. For example, I made a base salary and got paid the same amount every week. My working hours for this pay was Mon-Fri from 8:30am-whenever the parents got home from work. However if I ever worked extra hours on the weekends or late into the nights, they paid me extra wages, just like they would have to if they hired a babysitter for the night. Talk with your host family about these types of situations.

~Ask about if there are certain times you are to do your laundry. It sounds silly, but some families don't like the machines running at odd hours.

~Usually a nanny is responsible for anything that has to do with the children. For example, I did all the laundry and bedroom duties of the little boy I looked after. I organized his closets once a month or so, and took out clothes that were too small. I even did some of his clothes shopping (but that was more because I enjoyed it, not because it was my duty)

~This one is important. Find out about the parents wishes as far as disciplining the child. I am not one to spank and luckily neither was the parents I worked for. However, they weren't too keen on disciplining of any sort, which was starting to make for a bratty little boy. They literally thought I was being a demon when I would put him in a five minute time out. But their thoughts changed when they saw the difference in his behaviour when I was in charge and then when they were in charge. Needless to say they soon started doing the "time out" thing too. But it's a good idea to have a talk with the parents about anything they feel strongly about with this issue and anything you feel strongly about.

~Ask them if they care how you spend your time off, what time you get in at night etc. A lot of families like their nanny to get out of the house and have some time away from the family...It wasn't an issue in the house I was working because I hung out with the mom socially as well. And sometimes if I was out late at night, the dad would worry (he never thought I should have a curfew or anything...I think it was more an instinctual worry) and his wife would have to remind him that I am not their kid, and I am a grown up who is allowed to stay out all night without having to call. But I knew he worried and I appreciated that and would call if I was going to be too late, just to ease his mind.

~Find out when you are "on duty"-Are you only working when the parents are away, or do they want you to be working when they are at home as well. This is different for every house, so just make sure you know. This will help also so that if you want to sit down and watch tv for an hour you won't feel guilty and wonder "am I supposed to be watching the kids right now or is Mom supposed to be, since she is at home?"

I think the most important tip though is keep an open line of communication with the people you work for. If something is bothering you, talk to them about it before it becomes a bigger issue than it really is. Ask them to do the same with you. So many times issues can be fixed easily and quickly, but if you let it go then it gets to be a stickier situation. Know that the kids you are looking after are easily influenced and learn by example. One of the things that I am proudest of in my whole life was spending the first four years of that little boys life and just seeing what a happy and sweet kid he has turned out to be. And one of the best compliments I ever heard was from a friend of the mothers who said that she thinks his awesome personality has so much to do with how I was raising him. Hearing something like that makes the job one of the greatest and most rewarding in the world.

PM me if you do have any more questions...and again...GOOD LUCK!
 
I've been looking into the possibility of hiring an Au Pair for my kids (I'm likely to be a single dad, shortly). The agencies that I was looking at all had some pretty well laid-out expectations for Au Pairs and their living and working conditions, and their pay. The agencies all seem to charge a pretty exhorbitant 'fee' for their services, sometimes to both the Au Pair and the host family.

The agencies all had the same basic conditions for their Au Pairs, though. These included things like a private room, set working hours, days off, pay, and other expectations. The Au Pair was expected to provide their own health insurance, airfare, and cover some of their own expenses such as phone calls back home. (many of these things are able to be financed by the host family, as a draw against future earnings, but that takes negotiations)

Because the agency helps handle visas, contracts and background checks (which can be difficult in other countries), they seemed to be the best way to go.

As a parent, the longer term that child care can be depended on the happier we are. Summer contracts (May-September) would probably be the shortest acceptable to most American host families (to help keep the kids cared for during the summer vacation from school)

Au Pairs are often considered a low-cost alternative to a nanny, because the Au Pair is gaining something in addition to pay - a base of operations to travel and some spending money and time to do so! Because they're cheaper, it seems that people are all too often willing to take advantage of that. People also tend to forget that the 'base of operations' part is indeed a portion of the compensation for doing the job!

You definitely need to make sure you discuss everything prior to making the commitment to go out there. Since this is the modern age, things like finding the actual location of the place you'll be working at in relation to where you wish to visit, getting photos of the house/apartment/room you'll be staying in, and information about the family you'll be with shouldn't be too much to ask for. If you like children, it seems like a good possibility for travel, but there's a lot to watch out for, and it would definitely take some homework, or, at least, and exit strategy, in case things go badly...
 
interesting stories.. I'll add a bad one too whioch comes from the host family.. my aunty in the UL got one from the netherlands and she cracked on to my uncle. nanny diaries was a good read.

mmm.. my mind changes alot and now I would really like to just do bartending overseas or something similiar.. however, i will only be 17 so does that mean i have no chance in any country in europe? i will should easily get a working visa for europe as my mum is still an english citizen. thanks!! :mf_gap:
 
Hello everyone!

I have to say I was kinda sad to read about all your bad experiences of being au pair's because I had an absolutly wonderful year with my family! I guess I just lucked out though! Well, like everyone says no job and no family is perfect but if you deal with the situations as they come I think anyone can make the most out of it.

I went through an on line agency www.aupairworld. (either .com or .net, I can't quite remember!) and thought it was really easy to sign up. Although maybe I did take a bit of a risk cause I only talked to the family once on the phone (the rest of the contract was done by email) before flying all the way from Canada to Switzerland to live with them for a year! (Some may say that's crazy but I considered it an adventure...and thank God it was a good one!)

Although I wish I had of read all of your advice before going cause I'm sure it could have helped me with a few things! I just want everyone out there considering to be an aupair to know that NOT ALL families are dysfunctional! I think it's a matter of doing a bit of research before hand, as in speaking to former aupairs and communicating fully with the family as to what they expect of you.

My family really considered me to be part of their family, which made me feel welcomed and not a slave in their home. They payed for my french classes and I spoke french with them the whole time which really helped to learn the language.

Now my only problem is I have this terrible bug that I can't seem to get ride of, anyone heard of it? Its called the TRAVEL BUG!!!! :party: just joking :lol:

I really do wish you all the best and hope to keep in touch (it's nice to finally meet some other aupair's!)

CHEERS :cheers:
 
one of the families i sit for used to have au pairs...they had a great one for a year and a not so great one for a few months....id love to be an au pair in spain, but not during my travleling...id actually like to settle down and do it...i dunno if it will ever happen tho...i would love to be a full time nanny here in the states, but that doesn't leave much room for me to have my own family so i dunno...decisions decisions....
 
Yeah I guess I never thought about it from that point of view but the families could get stuck with a real "*%&"* (you know what!) too! Spain is a really beautiful country, I wish I could have spent more time there but I only had 1 week vacation at that time. When I worked in Switzerland for a year I went travelling just about every weekend around Europe, so it is possible you just have to be prepared for a busy weekend that's all! I had a pretty sweet deal, I worked 32 hours per week got friday afternoon and the weekends off and in my contract I was to get 6 weeks holidays throughout the year but ended up with 7! I'd advise you to try it out for a year before you decide to do it full time, cause they really do become your full-time family and you're right I dont' think it would leave much time for your own little kiddies! I love kids to death but I realised after a year non-stop of them that I'M NOT READY YET!! :insane:
Good luck with whatever you choose, I'm sure you'll make the best decision for you!


CHEERS! :cheers:
 
I did 3 months in Berlin this past summer in and had a blast. Like Happy Travels, I used Aupairworld and found a really nice family. I had almost every weekend off. A typical day would start around 3:30PM when I would go fetch the kids from school. Their bedtime was 8pm so really I was only in charge of them for 4 hours. I got payed 260E a month, they payed for my Public Transportation around Berlin, and I went out and stayed out late just most nights throughout the week. They didn't mind at all. Berlin is a great city to Aupair in because the Public transportation is amazing and everything is cheap. I never ran out of pocket money and I was going out usually about 5 times a week.

Most people sign up for a year and I think that might be where a lot of problems arise. I think I'd get fed up with a family after a year. 3 to 6 months is ideal, IMO.

It really is a great way to experience a new culture. You live with 'authentic' Europeans, you pick up their habits. When I was there I had all this great food, rode a bike everyday and picked up the language. 500ml bottles of beer were 45c plus deposit:cheers:

Anyways, I realize I got very lucky. This past summer was an amazing summer that I will probably never top again.
 
Any more recent stories of au pairs abroad?? January 2 I'm moving to just outside of Amsterdam to au pair for a year. I am sooooo excited. Their current au pair is an american and we're incredibly similar. I only work 3 days a week, granted it's from like 6 till 10 but 3 days off to travel and a midweek day to chill? I'll take it! And I'll be getting paid pretty well by au pair standards. I found my family on aupairworld.com. I skype with them about 2x a month and talk to their au pair once a week. I'm really excited but kind of nervous so any recent experiences would be welcome!
 
the other side

I grew up with many aupair girls and it was amazing. I have a good memory of them, also the one who makes me a punk when I was 5 :)
 
I was an aupair in england and had a horrible experience... You really need a part time job as well if you want any money to go travelling with, but you may not get much time off to do it anyway...

My advice is work in a pub. If you do your research, you can get a good one, with a room to yourself and higher than minimum wage, plus paid holidays. That means time and money for travelling. Gumtree is always good for finding stuff :)
 
it depends so much on your host familiy. I know many people, some loved it, others went home after 2 month because it did't work out with the familiy
 
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